Scooby doo, Scuba done

Just a week left in South East Asia now. It feels like I'm winding down as we step up the comfort level by leaving Cambodia, heading south to the tourist destinations of Southern Thailand and then following that up with the luxury of Singapore. So the hard bits done and now I can really enjoy myself - except I won't - you know me.

We leave Phnom Penh after just a couple of days. It's a nice place, but limited for things to actually see. We bump into Gianna from Halong bay just outside some school / extermination centre (it would seem in Pol Pots time getting shot was an education). I'm still feeling colonial urges so we heads to the FCC (Foreign Correspondents Club) for some G&T's and home comforts served by a local pauper. And the next morning we head to Siem Reap by luxury bus.

Six hours later (remember - it's always six hours) and we pull into SR to be met by a bunch of tuk-tuks and local "guides" who would love to take us to a hostel for just a dollar. It's a real scrap. Their business model revolves around the dollar loss leader. They know you are here to see Angkor Wat and they know that you will need a tuk-tuk and guide to see it, so if they take you to a hostel they have a twenty minute journey in which to persuade you to employ them for the next three days. We randomly pick a young guy called Te. And sure enough on the way to our elected hostel he asks if we need a guide. I normally don't like this secondary sell, but in his case his English is so good and he is such a nice guy we both figure we got lucky and should take him up on the offer.

I'm the one picking the hostel and in the end opt for a non-air con room without cold water for $7 a night. I'm too delicate for the lack of cold water and Amanda-Sue is too delicate for the lack of air-con so we aren't in an especially good mood when we have to return to this sauna every evening.

The Angkor Wat admission ticket is not actually controlled by the government but some local petrol company. There is no reason for this other than the petrol company giving a fat backhander to a government official and now making $20 off a day pass, $40 off a three day pass and $60 off a week pass from every tourist. That's a lot of money for doing nothing. The temples aren't even maintained by them (and I wouldn't trust a petrol company to maintain a 1000 year old relic anyway). The Angkor archaeological group which does try and stop these things falling down gets just 10% of the admission fee. The government finance body (a notorious Cambodian black hole when it comes to Riels) gets 40% and the petrol company gets 50%. In a country where corruption and scams are the norm this still seems like a disgusting abuse of a national treasure. But what do I care; if it falls down now at least I got to see it first.

The three day ticket is what we go for. If you buy it after 5pm it starts from the next day and you get the evening to see a sunset for free. You can see a sunset every evening for free, but not overlooking Angkor. So we head to Phnom Bakheng along with every other white man for views over Angkor Wat and the Western Baray. Apart from the large crowds it's a great introduction to the temples of Angkor. Built on a natural hill and supposedly the first temple here, it's great to get an overview of everything else in the area. Of course when you stay to watch the sunset you have to descend in complete darkness and because these temples are representations of the mythical Hindu Mount Meru the sides are steep and the steps are huge (and often broken) so getting down without breaking a leg takes an hour or so.

The town itself exists purely for Angkor. There is little in the way of local authenticity. We eat at a Khmer kitchen and I leave my camera in our tuk-tuk who is meeting us tomorrow morning. Te, our driver, stands to make about $60 from us over the three days. My camera is worth about $2000 so I assume we will never see him again and our evening is spent in quiet contemplation over the loss.

But the morning arrives and so does Te with my camera, thus ensuring a big tip from me. It's our first full day and I can enjoy it again now I can take photos. We are saving Angkor Wat until day three. Building up to it gradually. So today is Angkor Thom; the big walled city with some incredible temples inside. Bayan, Baphuon, Wall of elephants, leper king thing and Phimeanakas are all worth seeing and all take a good hour to see properly. It's sensory overload as each temple is built by a different king in a different era and exhibits some unique feature. Bass reliefs are the big thing in Bayon whereas Phimeanakas is all about the tower (with trees growing all over). Food out here is local shack variety and when all the tour groups head back to SR for lunch we eat right outside Bayon, saving us valuable time and getting a start on the coach loads of japanese. So the afternoon is for Ta Phrom - a massive structure that the French Indochine historical society decided to leave untouched when they decided to restore all the others. This means, for the purposes of films like Tomb Raider it is the perfect backdrop with massive tropical trees growing all over the temple buildings. Highly recommended but expect a crowd.

Day 2 is more of the same. I don't mean to say that it isn't worth seeing since each temple is unique in its own way. But the differences have to be seen rather than described here to sound worthy of a visit. Take, for example, East Mebon in the middle of the Eastern Baray. Today it looks like every other temple (a representation of Mount Meru) but when it was built a century after the Eastern Baray (or reservoir) its second level was at the water level and it could only be approached by boat. the reservoir was 3km by 1km and about 4m deep where they built it. Just trying to imagine how they built a temple underwater impresses me. In my head I see some Pharaoh with a big whip and lots of slaves dying. Then there is Banteay Srei; a not very big temple built at differing times depending on who you ask. It's unique because it's small, but the best preserved in terms of bass relief carvings and you can easily spend a couple of hours admiring it. I am hungover so don't but that's not the point. Then there is Amanda-Sue's favourite Banteay Samre - small but quiet. It's far enough away that the day trippers don't bother with it which makes it all the more special. Or Banteay Kdei with it's apparent Greek architecture. I could go on and on. The one dissapointing aspect is that the Khmers, for all the grandiose ideas, never mastered how to build an arch. So they set about building five tiered structures and then bodge together some roof or doorway and expect it to last forever. They've not done badly lasting a thousand years with the jungle constantly trying to take over but I feel if they'd got a couple of Romans over to just oversee the architecture then the temples would still be pristine now.

So day 3 is for Angkor Wat. The biggie. It's a 4.30am start so we can see the sun come up from the East gate. I can't do it justice in a blog. It's just one of those places that needs to be visited and seen first hand. Obviously going for sunrise means sharing it with a couple of hundred other tourists but in a temple this size two hundred can easily disappear. As it is most of them wait on the west gate looking at the temple with the sun behind, meaning all the shots will be silhouettes. We head straight through to the central tower and climb in the early morning light. And then we sit for half an hour as the sun makes it's ascent. There is just us up here at this time and the entire temple complex stretches around below. Suddenly, when I assume the sunrise is bad, we get a break in the cloud and the whole place is covered in a warm, red light. It's one of those moments that you try really hard to remember exactly because you don't get very many of them. And then it's another couple of hours looking around and taking it all in. Amanda-Sue draws, I take photos and we both quietly look around in awe of it all. I can't heap enough praise on it - go while it's still there.

That's the end of Cambodia for us. We fly from Siem Reap to Bangkok and then plan to bus down to Koh tao. But I messed up the bus reservation assuming it is for 9am when it's actually 9pm so we fly again, this time to Samui. From there it's a 2 hour ferry ride to Koh Tao where we have no reservations, but with typical luck stumble into a nice looking dive centre and get a room. This is supposed to be a mini-holiday for us; staying in one place for a few days, unpacking and enjoying a bit of luxury. But luxury is difficult to find on our budget and this place has been full every day since so we feel pretty lucky to get anywhere.

I sign up to the PADI open water course and get diving. I'm not naturally buoyant and feel like I'm pushing my luck every time I get in the water, but it's about the only thing to do here and occasionally I forget I'm moments away from death when I see a pretty fish. Four dives later and I'm a certified diver, but I'm hooked now and like every man I want to go deeper and for longer. So I sign up on the Advanced course. It's deep dives, night dives, propulsion vehicles and navigation. I'm diving with two dutch guys and they buddy up for the first navigation task - swim away from us for a bit and then find your way back. So away they swim and ten minutes later when they don't return we give up waiting. Without them I have to do the nav tasks on my own and the visibility is down to 4m. It's disorientating as soon as I get midwater and can see nothing, but I've been trained well, rely on my compass and find my way back. I'm a proper diver now: tonight is my first night dive and tomorrow we drop to 34m to induce a bit of nitrogen narcosis. Apparently the nitrogen dissolved in your blood is narcotic and can lead you to do certain things like take out your regulator (not recommended) so before you are an advanced diver you need to know what this feels like in order to avoid it.

After that it's straight to Singapore. We are booked into a nice hotel and it's time for me to buy a macbook so I can gradually get back into the world of workers (or at least avoid internet cafes).