I haven't had one, I was just watching it and it pissed me off and I had no one to tell that it pissed me off, so I decided to vent my anger through the medium of blog.
This mother and daughter who were both pretty ugly got given the works - brow lift, nose job, lipo, rhino, teeth straightening, breast augmentation and in the case of the daughter lessons on how not to walk like a hippo. At the end of it there were loads of tears and both were clearly far happier than they had been and I couldn't help but think what a couple of lazy wasters. I, irrationally perhaps, hated them for being so happy for each other, which seemed to imply they didn't really like to look at each other before. The daughter's husband (a big heffer) was there for the reveal crying his eyes out like he'd finally got the wife he always wanted and I enjoyed the moment because it was obvious that they would be divorced within six months and she'd be sharing the new beautiful body with someone far more attractive and more manly at which point he'll have a reason to cry. Fucking americans.
So apart from wasting my time in front of the TV I've been down to Wellington for a few days last week. The event is known as Webstock, but you can call it geek-fest. It's two long days of seminars on all sorts of web related fun. There was certainly some big names and good talks - the standout being a tech guy from Google talking about how, if you do something on a big enough scale, you can get away with a massive lack of accuracy as the two cancel each other out. But no one seemed to want to talk about anything practical, some people even ventured into philosophy while others just made no sense at all and at 4pm on the thursday afternoon I had to walk out when a woman from Goto Media decided she could help everyone in the room get unstuck by showing two slides - one of a squiggly line (stuck) and one of a straight line (unstuck). But in amongst the more abstract modal jazz and newton's apple references there were some gems of information being tossed about and for those it was almost worth it.
I also got to experience Wellington weather and am no longer so keen to move there. It rained a lot, the wind blew a lot and it is a lot colder that Auckland. Or was...today Auckland is blowing a tropical storm past my fifth story apartment and I'm worried the building hasn't been designed for these conditions.
I'm not sure if it's standard practice to use pseudonyms on blogs when talking about people who might get upset. I haven't up to now, but I'm a blog novice - I could be doing it all wrong. So I was sharing a room with a work colleague of mine - let's call him Marshall - and being a younger guy he maximised his time by partying until the early hours of the morning every night. It depressed me. I am not so young and value my sleep too much to be able to keep up and will have to come to terms with the fact that in six months I will officially be middle aged... like a castle. Marshall is a fag and as such requires a ready supply of TRESemmé maximum hold hair spray and cock. And I think it was the latter that led to him rocking in at 4.30am the night before we had to get a plane at 10am. For some as yet unexplained reason he spent the night giggling to himself before we eventually got out of our hotel at 9.35. But this being NZ, where security is something other people have to worry about, we still made the plane on time.
So back to reality and I've spent the weekend working away on nothing too exciting. The shift process is glaringly innefficient and frustrating at the coal-face. I need to get it changed. But I probably won't succeed.
I saw a clasic NZ movie the other day called Sleeping Dogs. It's a hard hitting docu-fiction on fascism in New Zealand in the early seventies. If you haven't seen it I recommend leaving it that way unless you are a big fan of Sam Neill - I think it's his first acting role. I suppose, looking at it in context this was how New Zealanders saw things kicking off over the oil crisis and just after the cuba missile thing. So it's understandable that there was a fear of guerilla action and government crackdowns and curfews however ridiculous this seems today. But if only they'd had a few more dollars to spend on props and actors.
And that pretty much brings you up to date. I'm feeling melancholy today. Restless. The weather being so bad I am stuck indoors. I want to play cricket or do something that takes my mind off thinking about what ifs but I won't. I'll wallow in it for the afternoon.
Friday 22 February 2008
Friday 8 February 2008
Life goes on
I feel like life is moving too fast at the moment. Not in my usual depressing way; it doesn't overly concern me i don't think. I am just starting to realise that I probably won't have time to do all the things I want to do. I don't mean here. I don't mean in 2008. Just generally. I have lots of ideas - Wellington, South America, Easter Island, living on a farm and riding horses on the east cape, Antarctica, retirement in luxury, Kamchatka, Japan, writing a bestseller. Those are just the ones of the top of my head. Until I started really looking at the years I have left and the realistic time these things take I just imagined there would be plenty of time to fit it all in. But now I am hitting the realism that I probably won't. Should I prioritise and plan? I don't like plans as a rule. I don't like rules as a rule either. I like to rock up in Tibet and bumble my way across a mountain range. I'd like to end up in Easter island and hitch a ride to Santiago. I'd like to know it's all going to happen but not how it's going to happen.
Work has been hard work and has kept me far too busy. This summer has been the best on record as far as the weather and number of murders go. The two may be related - I vaguely remember a panorama that showed violence increases with temperature. But sat in the office I'm protected from both. I did eventually manage to get to a beach on Waitangi day (the day that celebrates or recognises, depending on your point of view, British sovereignty over the Maoris). And I got down to Napier to see Luke, Becs and Becs's Mum for a bit of Hawkes bay wine tasting yesterday. The five hour drive down on thursday evening was fun. They put massive long stretches in place to help you drift off and then throw in a switchback corner in front of a ravine at the end to wake you up. Fortunately my little Hyundai was aware of the danger I posed and gave me very little in the way of acceleration but plenty in the way of braking. Great weather, great wines and a great day which just reminded me that I meant to move to Hawkes Bay at some point. I wonder why i haven't.
I feel settled when I come back to Auckland. I'm meeting Dad's friends Roy and Gaynor tonight for dinner. They have been here for three months and it's pleasant to hear that they would like to live here, or at least could live here. It's reassuring that it isn't just me, that there is something better than what I had, that I haven't just been telling myself I made the right choices. I have some good friends here now and I'm making new ones even just last week. And all these things help make a place a home which is what New Zealand if not Auckland is starting to become. But on the flip side my regular chats with people in the motherland remind me that it isn't. More intriguing is Lauren. You may remember her from a previous post. She hated me when she first met me apparently. I persuaded her with unnatural amounts of charm that I was in fact a nice guy and that was that, but for no real reason we started chatting again recently and I find myself missing someone who I really only knew for a week, a couple of weeks? something like that. I don't know what that means...perhaps she has interesting stories, perhaps she is my soul mate or perhaps I'm just lonely. Whatever, I'm just enjoying it for whatever it is.
But I'm trying very hard not to really think about things too much. The breathing specialist I see tells me my irregular breathing is due to anxiety. I wasn't anxious until she told me that. But now I see anxiety on the horizon frequently and I have found a few simple ways to deal with it, like slowing my breathing and not thinking about anything important. The gym, contrary to what I initially thought, helps and I always feel better after a session. I don't think it is the training so much as the focusing my mind on what I have to do in that hour which means forgetting about all the other stuff. I still have to stop thinking about things more, but I'm getting there. The next step may be yoga. I just think the anxiety of being the only guy in the class may do more harm that good.
It's a busy week ahead of me. I think I'll be sleeping or working and that will be it. Hopefully I can get a day off the week after and get stuck into my writing - another thing that helps the anxiety.
Work has been hard work and has kept me far too busy. This summer has been the best on record as far as the weather and number of murders go. The two may be related - I vaguely remember a panorama that showed violence increases with temperature. But sat in the office I'm protected from both. I did eventually manage to get to a beach on Waitangi day (the day that celebrates or recognises, depending on your point of view, British sovereignty over the Maoris). And I got down to Napier to see Luke, Becs and Becs's Mum for a bit of Hawkes bay wine tasting yesterday. The five hour drive down on thursday evening was fun. They put massive long stretches in place to help you drift off and then throw in a switchback corner in front of a ravine at the end to wake you up. Fortunately my little Hyundai was aware of the danger I posed and gave me very little in the way of acceleration but plenty in the way of braking. Great weather, great wines and a great day which just reminded me that I meant to move to Hawkes Bay at some point. I wonder why i haven't.
I feel settled when I come back to Auckland. I'm meeting Dad's friends Roy and Gaynor tonight for dinner. They have been here for three months and it's pleasant to hear that they would like to live here, or at least could live here. It's reassuring that it isn't just me, that there is something better than what I had, that I haven't just been telling myself I made the right choices. I have some good friends here now and I'm making new ones even just last week. And all these things help make a place a home which is what New Zealand if not Auckland is starting to become. But on the flip side my regular chats with people in the motherland remind me that it isn't. More intriguing is Lauren. You may remember her from a previous post. She hated me when she first met me apparently. I persuaded her with unnatural amounts of charm that I was in fact a nice guy and that was that, but for no real reason we started chatting again recently and I find myself missing someone who I really only knew for a week, a couple of weeks? something like that. I don't know what that means...perhaps she has interesting stories, perhaps she is my soul mate or perhaps I'm just lonely. Whatever, I'm just enjoying it for whatever it is.
But I'm trying very hard not to really think about things too much. The breathing specialist I see tells me my irregular breathing is due to anxiety. I wasn't anxious until she told me that. But now I see anxiety on the horizon frequently and I have found a few simple ways to deal with it, like slowing my breathing and not thinking about anything important. The gym, contrary to what I initially thought, helps and I always feel better after a session. I don't think it is the training so much as the focusing my mind on what I have to do in that hour which means forgetting about all the other stuff. I still have to stop thinking about things more, but I'm getting there. The next step may be yoga. I just think the anxiety of being the only guy in the class may do more harm that good.
It's a busy week ahead of me. I think I'll be sleeping or working and that will be it. Hopefully I can get a day off the week after and get stuck into my writing - another thing that helps the anxiety.
Thursday 24 January 2008
Well over a month and there is plenty to talk about. As always apologies are offered for not updating this more promplty. But in my defence my mother has been here since new years day and she requires a lot of babysitting. And in answer to the prosecution, yes I could have updated it in the nine solid days of alone time before she arrived, but i didn't - it's my blog, I'll do what i want.
Christmas turned out to be not quite so depressing as it could have been. In the end I went to my CD's house for chirstmas lunch and met his family. I was immediately introduced to Mia, his two year old daughter, and had to play a farm animal domino game with her. I'd only managed to match two lions before she wet herself, took her pants off and handed them to me telling me they were wet. Not a great deal you can say to that. I spent the evening with Chris and Andrew from work (only slightly more grown up!) drinking and eating. And then it really was some Robin time as I watched the sun come up to the right of my balcony and go down to the left. In between things happened but I can't remember what they were.
I looked after Chris's kitten for new year and it was definitely easier than a two year old. Same sort of mess though. And then my Mum turned up. 5am New years day and I'm pretty much the only person at Auckland International. I was back at work by the 3rd and Mum left for a North island tour. Then I flew down to Welly to meet her and travel the south island. I have some fond memories of the rugged west coast and all the nature that is down there from my first trip now 11 years ago. And indeed the west coast is still rugged and there is a lot of nature, but what a load of racist hicks. I don't think I had a single conversation down there without someone bringing up "the asians" - and it wasn't even always me. Down in Haast where we managed to find a kind of chalet based motel a helicopter was hovering outside my chalet at about 6am and I was quite impressed that they had that sort of technology down there (as it turns out they have lots of them to fly tourists around as they wouldn't want to be on the ground and to drop poison to kill possums) so I got up to have a look at it because I've been in New Zealand so long that seeing a helicopter actually is a valid reason to get excited and this particular one has a couple of deer carcasses hanging off the undercarriage. A particularly nice illustration of Southern Man doing what he does. Saw plenty of other stuf - glaciers (but tiddly ones really), rocks layers like pancakes (in any other country this wouldn't even be on the map, but here there's a visitors centre), dolphins (but god forbid we disturb them so lets just enjoy the spurt from their blowholes from 200m), seals, albatross, penguins and plenty of ther birds and beasts. All in all a plethora of unusual creatures that almost make the 2500km I drove worthwhile. What did top it off was a trip to Doubtful Sound. They built a power station here 2km underground and it supplies 15% of New Zealands electricity. Yet it's in a UN World heritage area and you actually wouldn't even know it's there. Quite an engineering feat.
But some of the places down there are actually scary. Take Gore for example. It looked like we would be staying there one night as we left Manapouri late and wouldn't get to Dunedin till quite late. I'm normally easy going and will lay my head anywhere, but I draw the line at Gore. I know nothing of the residents and I may be doing them a disservice but as we cruised through what they describe as the town center at 9pm I had no problems driving all night if it meant I didn't have to stay there.
Christchurch is another interesting place. Originally you had to get a letter from your church in the UK if you wanted to settle there as it was supposed to be the elite. Now it's a bunch of inbred southerners who just think they are elite.
I'm back in Auckland at it feels remarkably like home. But I can't see myself staying. I can't see myself doing anything much at the moment. I need to actually have some long term goals and figure out what's important rather than living like a drifter (metaphorically - I don't actually smell of urine or anything). My latest vague plan involves working a container vessel to tahiti, jumping on a supplu ship to French Polynesia / Micronesia and eventually working my way to Easter Island, where I will discover what the lost people of Atlantis were trying to tell us with the carved faces and I will reach enlightenment. Or I might just fly. Or not. Who knows.
Christmas turned out to be not quite so depressing as it could have been. In the end I went to my CD's house for chirstmas lunch and met his family. I was immediately introduced to Mia, his two year old daughter, and had to play a farm animal domino game with her. I'd only managed to match two lions before she wet herself, took her pants off and handed them to me telling me they were wet. Not a great deal you can say to that. I spent the evening with Chris and Andrew from work (only slightly more grown up!) drinking and eating. And then it really was some Robin time as I watched the sun come up to the right of my balcony and go down to the left. In between things happened but I can't remember what they were.
I looked after Chris's kitten for new year and it was definitely easier than a two year old. Same sort of mess though. And then my Mum turned up. 5am New years day and I'm pretty much the only person at Auckland International. I was back at work by the 3rd and Mum left for a North island tour. Then I flew down to Welly to meet her and travel the south island. I have some fond memories of the rugged west coast and all the nature that is down there from my first trip now 11 years ago. And indeed the west coast is still rugged and there is a lot of nature, but what a load of racist hicks. I don't think I had a single conversation down there without someone bringing up "the asians" - and it wasn't even always me. Down in Haast where we managed to find a kind of chalet based motel a helicopter was hovering outside my chalet at about 6am and I was quite impressed that they had that sort of technology down there (as it turns out they have lots of them to fly tourists around as they wouldn't want to be on the ground and to drop poison to kill possums) so I got up to have a look at it because I've been in New Zealand so long that seeing a helicopter actually is a valid reason to get excited and this particular one has a couple of deer carcasses hanging off the undercarriage. A particularly nice illustration of Southern Man doing what he does. Saw plenty of other stuf - glaciers (but tiddly ones really), rocks layers like pancakes (in any other country this wouldn't even be on the map, but here there's a visitors centre), dolphins (but god forbid we disturb them so lets just enjoy the spurt from their blowholes from 200m), seals, albatross, penguins and plenty of ther birds and beasts. All in all a plethora of unusual creatures that almost make the 2500km I drove worthwhile. What did top it off was a trip to Doubtful Sound. They built a power station here 2km underground and it supplies 15% of New Zealands electricity. Yet it's in a UN World heritage area and you actually wouldn't even know it's there. Quite an engineering feat.
But some of the places down there are actually scary. Take Gore for example. It looked like we would be staying there one night as we left Manapouri late and wouldn't get to Dunedin till quite late. I'm normally easy going and will lay my head anywhere, but I draw the line at Gore. I know nothing of the residents and I may be doing them a disservice but as we cruised through what they describe as the town center at 9pm I had no problems driving all night if it meant I didn't have to stay there.
Christchurch is another interesting place. Originally you had to get a letter from your church in the UK if you wanted to settle there as it was supposed to be the elite. Now it's a bunch of inbred southerners who just think they are elite.
I'm back in Auckland at it feels remarkably like home. But I can't see myself staying. I can't see myself doing anything much at the moment. I need to actually have some long term goals and figure out what's important rather than living like a drifter (metaphorically - I don't actually smell of urine or anything). My latest vague plan involves working a container vessel to tahiti, jumping on a supplu ship to French Polynesia / Micronesia and eventually working my way to Easter Island, where I will discover what the lost people of Atlantis were trying to tell us with the carved faces and I will reach enlightenment. Or I might just fly. Or not. Who knows.
Friday 21 December 2007
It was my mothers birthday yesterday (happy birthday mum) and I suppose it's those events that make you miss home more than usual.
I'm not the introspective type. I prefer to not ask the tricky questions, bypass the issues and if you want to cry my advice has always been to swallow it, file it away and hope that all that repressed emotion will gradually dissapate rather than boil over one day in a postal moment. But work is finished for the year and the prospect of my last nine days of 2007 is a healthy chunk of alone time in which questions must be asked. Like just how late can I stay in bed with nothing to get up for? Do we really need to eat to survive? That sort of thing. Work has kept me so busy the last month that I haven't had time to do anything but work. On top of that I seem to be having anxiety attacks and hyperventilating, which seems odd to me since I am not in the least bit anxious. But the doctor seems to think I have forgotten how to breathe and need to learn again, so rather than going to yoga I am hitting myself in the stomach with anything heavy - that's a man's remedy. No improvement yet but I'm not ready to chuck the spandex on and salute the big gay sun just yet.
So perhaps the next nine days of alone time is just what I need to relearn certain things people take for granted and to also figure out what I'm doing here. I'm not too concerned about christmas day - it's not a real christmas day in this heat anyway. I just need to make sure I've got enough food in to last me through the bank holidays. To be fair, a large number of work colleagues have invited me to theirs for christmas, but I decided that a couple of days marooned in a strangers house would not be good for my anxiety and the prospect of passing out at a colleagues house and ruining their families christmas is also a fairly good reason to shut myself away for a while.
Mum is arriving in the new year and the prospect of getting out of Auckland for a week or so has seen me packing already. It's a lovely town in the summer, but somewhat claustrophobic. And after months waking up to a different view in a different room, the three months I've been here actually feel a lot longer. I think Wellington is calling me. Shift has an office there and moving down shouldn't be too hard, so I'll check it out later next month and see if it's the next stop on my journey. But there are rumours that Shift may be swallowed up by the global advertising machine Omnicom. My path crossed with theirs at Tequila and I don't have any fond memories of them from that so I'm not sure I'll be hanging around to see them stifle another company.
I can't decide what I'm looking for in life, or whether I've found it. It would weigh on my mind more if I didn't have the internet to distract me. Every time I stop moving I feel I'm treading water which I don't think is how life is supposed to feel. Day to day I enjoy the things you are supposed to enjoy...work, hanging out with friends...is that it? The magic thirty has crept up on me simply because I didn't care that it was coming, but now I feel like I've lost a decade. When I left university someone pressed the fast forward button on my remote and that was my twenties gone. If I hadn't left London I may have carried on like that until retirement and by then the regret would probably be overwhelming. As it is I think I'm making time count a little more, but I'll still be growing old at the same time, losing my mind at approximately the same time and ending my days at the same time regardless. So if the destination is the same, and it takes the same amount of time, does the journey matter? I still can't decide. I like having the memories and I like getting out of my comfort zone and seeing what the world can do to you...but you can't do it forever, life catches up with you and around comes another cycle of 'how long can I take it?'
I'm rambling, and you have probably given up reading this nonsense long ago, so perhaps I should get back to the internet and ignore the swell of doubt in my mind.
I'm not the introspective type. I prefer to not ask the tricky questions, bypass the issues and if you want to cry my advice has always been to swallow it, file it away and hope that all that repressed emotion will gradually dissapate rather than boil over one day in a postal moment. But work is finished for the year and the prospect of my last nine days of 2007 is a healthy chunk of alone time in which questions must be asked. Like just how late can I stay in bed with nothing to get up for? Do we really need to eat to survive? That sort of thing. Work has kept me so busy the last month that I haven't had time to do anything but work. On top of that I seem to be having anxiety attacks and hyperventilating, which seems odd to me since I am not in the least bit anxious. But the doctor seems to think I have forgotten how to breathe and need to learn again, so rather than going to yoga I am hitting myself in the stomach with anything heavy - that's a man's remedy. No improvement yet but I'm not ready to chuck the spandex on and salute the big gay sun just yet.
So perhaps the next nine days of alone time is just what I need to relearn certain things people take for granted and to also figure out what I'm doing here. I'm not too concerned about christmas day - it's not a real christmas day in this heat anyway. I just need to make sure I've got enough food in to last me through the bank holidays. To be fair, a large number of work colleagues have invited me to theirs for christmas, but I decided that a couple of days marooned in a strangers house would not be good for my anxiety and the prospect of passing out at a colleagues house and ruining their families christmas is also a fairly good reason to shut myself away for a while.
Mum is arriving in the new year and the prospect of getting out of Auckland for a week or so has seen me packing already. It's a lovely town in the summer, but somewhat claustrophobic. And after months waking up to a different view in a different room, the three months I've been here actually feel a lot longer. I think Wellington is calling me. Shift has an office there and moving down shouldn't be too hard, so I'll check it out later next month and see if it's the next stop on my journey. But there are rumours that Shift may be swallowed up by the global advertising machine Omnicom. My path crossed with theirs at Tequila and I don't have any fond memories of them from that so I'm not sure I'll be hanging around to see them stifle another company.
I can't decide what I'm looking for in life, or whether I've found it. It would weigh on my mind more if I didn't have the internet to distract me. Every time I stop moving I feel I'm treading water which I don't think is how life is supposed to feel. Day to day I enjoy the things you are supposed to enjoy...work, hanging out with friends...is that it? The magic thirty has crept up on me simply because I didn't care that it was coming, but now I feel like I've lost a decade. When I left university someone pressed the fast forward button on my remote and that was my twenties gone. If I hadn't left London I may have carried on like that until retirement and by then the regret would probably be overwhelming. As it is I think I'm making time count a little more, but I'll still be growing old at the same time, losing my mind at approximately the same time and ending my days at the same time regardless. So if the destination is the same, and it takes the same amount of time, does the journey matter? I still can't decide. I like having the memories and I like getting out of my comfort zone and seeing what the world can do to you...but you can't do it forever, life catches up with you and around comes another cycle of 'how long can I take it?'
I'm rambling, and you have probably given up reading this nonsense long ago, so perhaps I should get back to the internet and ignore the swell of doubt in my mind.
Saturday 8 December 2007
I know...it's been ages. How have you been? It's actually been over a month since my last post and I notice my internet audience share has dropped considerably. But with reader loyalty I know this post will bring you all crawling back.
Except that even with a month since my last post I have very little to say. I have instructions from Amanda-Sue to set the record straight and write an errata note: Amanda-Sue wasn't a nightmare to go travelling with, in fact she was awesome...that sort of thing. Except that sounds insincere so I can't say that. I read back through my blog and I'm pretty sure you all get me, or you would have given up reading it a long time ago. So you all already know that my cutting wit is really my self defence mechanism and fear of rejection kicking in and therefore much of what I say is to be ignored or written off as fiction. Ultimately AS was brilliant to travel with and looked after me in those dark few hours when neither of us new if I would live or die in Hanoi and for that I am eternally thankful.
Getting back to the here and now; Work has been keeping me busy. I'm enjoying it. I have the right to work here indefinitely now and come and go as I please. I already qualify for residency (where I get a sticker in my passport that gives me certain rights) and if I stay for 3 years I can get a New Zealand passport (I assume it comes in black) and I get taken to the shire elders and we have a big party with fireworks provided by the white wizard.
I took a little trip out to Piha a couple of weekends gone. It's only about 40 minutes from the centre of Auckland but a world away. Auckland spans this isthmus but the town is sprawled around a naturally protected harbour, so on this side of town there are no waves at all, but the beaches are still nice. Piha is on the other side of the isthmus and there is no protection apart from Tasmania and that's quite a way away. So the waves are huge and the rips a lot more dangerous. But it's much more like what you'd expect a beach to be like. It's also volcanic black sand and I burnt the sole of my foot walking on it.
I went to the sky city casino in town one friday night and lost a hundred bucks very quickly. I started at the $5 black jack table and spent an hour winning and losing until I stopped with $95. Assuming I would never make any real money on that table I went over to the $25 dollar table and promptly lost all my money in less than a minute. Not exactly James Bond, but I smiled and tried to give the impression I throw a hundred bucks away every minute before I went home and cried myself to sleep.
What else? I went round to my friends Tali and Ben's house to help sand down a table that they made themselves. Harder work than I had imagined and not as much fun, but probably better than spending another weekend arranging my clothes into fake people that I can talk to.
Then last night was the main event: Christmas in the park. 200,000 Aucklanders head to the domain (just over the road from my apartment) to listen to various festive / death metal anthems belted out by such celebrities as the 2004 New Zealand Idol runner up and Dave - the guy from Shortland Street. OpShop were the main act (you won't have heard of them, but they aren't as bad as everyone else) followed up by some pretty impressive fireworks. It's surreal listening to Silent Night in 22 degree (that's 72 for you Mum) heat with the sun still up at 9pm, but if you forget it's christmas a good time can be had. A testament to just how good a time is the number of lost kid notices flashing up on the big screen. I'm not naturally prejudiced (what? I'm not) but every single one was described as Samoan or Polynesian which led me to the conclusion that the islander parents come to the park, get coma'd safe in the knowledge that their kids will be rounded up by some responsible event worker and they can pick him up hours later when they have sobered up. It wouldn't be allowed back in the UK, but that's because at an event like that 50% of the crowd would be paedos. Here they live in a time of innocence where hobbits can run around fearlessly.
My friends Trevor and Lou came through town last week. I travelled for a couple of days with those two up the Mekong from Luang Prabang to the Thai border. They finally made it to Auckland and it was great when I was asked at work what my plans were for the evening and I could finally say "oh, I'm meeting up with some friends". People looked incredulously at me and Richard laughed thinking I was joking. So all too briefly the social life picked up, but i also met a couple who are old friends of theirs and I shall be going to watch the Hatton fight tonight with Mark (my new friend by proxy).
Here is a little video of NZ culture to whet your appetite:
You'd think, judging by the 80's style retro haircuts and crazy robot dancing that this would have been popular quite some time ago. But no, in 2006 it reached number one here. So that's about the average. If there is anything that is "in" in the UK now let me know and I'll have about 15 years to prepare for it to arrive here.
And another clip, highlighting the quality of the NZ education system:
Except that even with a month since my last post I have very little to say. I have instructions from Amanda-Sue to set the record straight and write an errata note: Amanda-Sue wasn't a nightmare to go travelling with, in fact she was awesome...that sort of thing. Except that sounds insincere so I can't say that. I read back through my blog and I'm pretty sure you all get me, or you would have given up reading it a long time ago. So you all already know that my cutting wit is really my self defence mechanism and fear of rejection kicking in and therefore much of what I say is to be ignored or written off as fiction. Ultimately AS was brilliant to travel with and looked after me in those dark few hours when neither of us new if I would live or die in Hanoi and for that I am eternally thankful.
Getting back to the here and now; Work has been keeping me busy. I'm enjoying it. I have the right to work here indefinitely now and come and go as I please. I already qualify for residency (where I get a sticker in my passport that gives me certain rights) and if I stay for 3 years I can get a New Zealand passport (I assume it comes in black) and I get taken to the shire elders and we have a big party with fireworks provided by the white wizard.
I took a little trip out to Piha a couple of weekends gone. It's only about 40 minutes from the centre of Auckland but a world away. Auckland spans this isthmus but the town is sprawled around a naturally protected harbour, so on this side of town there are no waves at all, but the beaches are still nice. Piha is on the other side of the isthmus and there is no protection apart from Tasmania and that's quite a way away. So the waves are huge and the rips a lot more dangerous. But it's much more like what you'd expect a beach to be like. It's also volcanic black sand and I burnt the sole of my foot walking on it.
I went to the sky city casino in town one friday night and lost a hundred bucks very quickly. I started at the $5 black jack table and spent an hour winning and losing until I stopped with $95. Assuming I would never make any real money on that table I went over to the $25 dollar table and promptly lost all my money in less than a minute. Not exactly James Bond, but I smiled and tried to give the impression I throw a hundred bucks away every minute before I went home and cried myself to sleep.
What else? I went round to my friends Tali and Ben's house to help sand down a table that they made themselves. Harder work than I had imagined and not as much fun, but probably better than spending another weekend arranging my clothes into fake people that I can talk to.
Then last night was the main event: Christmas in the park. 200,000 Aucklanders head to the domain (just over the road from my apartment) to listen to various festive / death metal anthems belted out by such celebrities as the 2004 New Zealand Idol runner up and Dave - the guy from Shortland Street. OpShop were the main act (you won't have heard of them, but they aren't as bad as everyone else) followed up by some pretty impressive fireworks. It's surreal listening to Silent Night in 22 degree (that's 72 for you Mum) heat with the sun still up at 9pm, but if you forget it's christmas a good time can be had. A testament to just how good a time is the number of lost kid notices flashing up on the big screen. I'm not naturally prejudiced (what? I'm not) but every single one was described as Samoan or Polynesian which led me to the conclusion that the islander parents come to the park, get coma'd safe in the knowledge that their kids will be rounded up by some responsible event worker and they can pick him up hours later when they have sobered up. It wouldn't be allowed back in the UK, but that's because at an event like that 50% of the crowd would be paedos. Here they live in a time of innocence where hobbits can run around fearlessly.
My friends Trevor and Lou came through town last week. I travelled for a couple of days with those two up the Mekong from Luang Prabang to the Thai border. They finally made it to Auckland and it was great when I was asked at work what my plans were for the evening and I could finally say "oh, I'm meeting up with some friends". People looked incredulously at me and Richard laughed thinking I was joking. So all too briefly the social life picked up, but i also met a couple who are old friends of theirs and I shall be going to watch the Hatton fight tonight with Mark (my new friend by proxy).
Here is a little video of NZ culture to whet your appetite:
You'd think, judging by the 80's style retro haircuts and crazy robot dancing that this would have been popular quite some time ago. But no, in 2006 it reached number one here. So that's about the average. If there is anything that is "in" in the UK now let me know and I'll have about 15 years to prepare for it to arrive here.
And another clip, highlighting the quality of the NZ education system:
Saturday 3 November 2007
How To: Install Solitaire on Vista on a MacBookPro
Yet more apologies for my slackness at updating this. I got round to installing tracker software last month so I can see if anyone visits and surprisingly someone did a couple of weeks ago, so hello to you. I'm updating now not because I have any massive new revelations to report but because I feel like the blog might die if I don't. I'm changing the tone of it though. So now there may be more reflection and less day-to-day, 'whatI did' diary type stuff. This means changing from the present tense, all-action style to a past tense, more thoughtful style. I hope you enjoy it. What am I talking about? It's not like anyone ever gets beyond the first paragraph.
It's been a busy month at work. I've been working pretty much non-stop on a website with crazy deadlines dictated by the Rugby World Cup final as the site is all about 2011 in NZ. If you are remotely interested in Rugger go here: www.newzealand.com/travel/frontrowrugbyclub.
Have got older and actually went to a pub quiz and drank ale. There are anti-smoking laws here so I couldn't sit at the back smoking a pipe in a tweed jacket, with a whippet lying by my feet and I think the moment was poorer for it. The first week we came second I think, although that may have been because we got the weakest team-member to do the adding up. The second week and we'd cut away the dead-wood and the three remaining brains won. It wasn't all celebrations though as the quiz master was Welsh and I took it upon myself to insult his heritage to his face leading to a swift exit by me as he warned my other team mates he was seriously thinking about smacking me in the face. So, no more pub quizzes for me, but that's probably a good thing.
Most weekends have been imposed quiet time, with the occasional brunch on a saturday morning. I have been getting more and more comfortable with the lifestyle here as summer draws in and the days get longer. I can't imagine living in London again now, which is a worry as at some point I think I will have to. But of the things that I miss, the big one is saturday/sunday afternoon sport on tv. No one follows football here so it's difficult to get excited about the game. And even if I had Sky TV it would be on in the middle of the night with no repeat. F1 is also on Sky. The only sport I've watched has been rugby and that has been at 8am which takes the edge off it.
I was invited to see Auckland take on Wellington at Eden Park in the final of the Air New Zealand Cup. It's surprisingly similar to what I imagine watching a rugby league match in Bradford must be like in that the rain was coming down a treat, a freezing gale was blowing in and there were some poor cheerleaders standing out in it trying to show enthusiasm for some of the worst rugby I've seen played since I was at school.
Of the time I've spent in NZ so far the highlight has to be a Hangi down in a place called Mango (that's a colloquialism - I can't remember it's proper name). A Hangi is a traditional Maori meal where the men dig a hole, cut a tree down, burn the tree to heat some rocks, put the rocks in the hole and add some meat, then cover in soil and drink beer for five hours. When suitably drunk you dig the food up and eat so much that all the alcohol in your system gets soaked up and you are ready to drive home. In amongst the food preparation are various things like kicking a rugby ball about (good), watching the mound of soil for signs of steam escaping (bad) and shooting potatoes over a kilometer with an acetylene powered spud gun (very very good).
The guys at Shift would like me to work permanently, which is something I need to think about over the next couple of days, That means getting a proper work visa which kind of leads the way down the path of a certain amount of permanence to my residency. It slightly concerns me since I had never planned to stay here forever and i worry about my ability to move on if comfortably settled. Think of me as London (that'll make sense if you watch the clip below) except that rather than moving on when I need to make a new friend I move on when I've pissed off most of the friends I've already made. It surely can't be long now before I have to leave NZ.
Well, it's half past two on a sunday and I've got the rest of the afternoon to try and understand how to manipulate google map data at the pixel level in flash. There is no reason for this, but in the absence of conversation I have to keep the brain busy. If anyone wants to write me an email please do, I've even removed my spam filters just so I have mail to read.
Decided against the cat idea. Chris at work got three kittens and whilst they are cute, there is the constant possibility they might die - I don't need that sort of worry.
It's been a busy month at work. I've been working pretty much non-stop on a website with crazy deadlines dictated by the Rugby World Cup final as the site is all about 2011 in NZ. If you are remotely interested in Rugger go here: www.newzealand.com/travel/frontrowrugbyclub.
Have got older and actually went to a pub quiz and drank ale. There are anti-smoking laws here so I couldn't sit at the back smoking a pipe in a tweed jacket, with a whippet lying by my feet and I think the moment was poorer for it. The first week we came second I think, although that may have been because we got the weakest team-member to do the adding up. The second week and we'd cut away the dead-wood and the three remaining brains won. It wasn't all celebrations though as the quiz master was Welsh and I took it upon myself to insult his heritage to his face leading to a swift exit by me as he warned my other team mates he was seriously thinking about smacking me in the face. So, no more pub quizzes for me, but that's probably a good thing.
Most weekends have been imposed quiet time, with the occasional brunch on a saturday morning. I have been getting more and more comfortable with the lifestyle here as summer draws in and the days get longer. I can't imagine living in London again now, which is a worry as at some point I think I will have to. But of the things that I miss, the big one is saturday/sunday afternoon sport on tv. No one follows football here so it's difficult to get excited about the game. And even if I had Sky TV it would be on in the middle of the night with no repeat. F1 is also on Sky. The only sport I've watched has been rugby and that has been at 8am which takes the edge off it.
I was invited to see Auckland take on Wellington at Eden Park in the final of the Air New Zealand Cup. It's surprisingly similar to what I imagine watching a rugby league match in Bradford must be like in that the rain was coming down a treat, a freezing gale was blowing in and there were some poor cheerleaders standing out in it trying to show enthusiasm for some of the worst rugby I've seen played since I was at school.
Of the time I've spent in NZ so far the highlight has to be a Hangi down in a place called Mango (that's a colloquialism - I can't remember it's proper name). A Hangi is a traditional Maori meal where the men dig a hole, cut a tree down, burn the tree to heat some rocks, put the rocks in the hole and add some meat, then cover in soil and drink beer for five hours. When suitably drunk you dig the food up and eat so much that all the alcohol in your system gets soaked up and you are ready to drive home. In amongst the food preparation are various things like kicking a rugby ball about (good), watching the mound of soil for signs of steam escaping (bad) and shooting potatoes over a kilometer with an acetylene powered spud gun (very very good).
The guys at Shift would like me to work permanently, which is something I need to think about over the next couple of days, That means getting a proper work visa which kind of leads the way down the path of a certain amount of permanence to my residency. It slightly concerns me since I had never planned to stay here forever and i worry about my ability to move on if comfortably settled. Think of me as London (that'll make sense if you watch the clip below) except that rather than moving on when I need to make a new friend I move on when I've pissed off most of the friends I've already made. It surely can't be long now before I have to leave NZ.
Well, it's half past two on a sunday and I've got the rest of the afternoon to try and understand how to manipulate google map data at the pixel level in flash. There is no reason for this, but in the absence of conversation I have to keep the brain busy. If anyone wants to write me an email please do, I've even removed my spam filters just so I have mail to read.
Decided against the cat idea. Chris at work got three kittens and whilst they are cute, there is the constant possibility they might die - I don't need that sort of worry.
Tuesday 9 October 2007
Around Northland
Apologies that I haven't posted in absolutely ages. Convention would probably lead you to believe I've been too busy enjoying life to post but sadly, I've just been too lazy. With the new job sat in front of the laptop for eight hours a day the last thing I feel like doing in the evening is sitting in front of the laptop. I actually do sit in front of the laptop, but watching dvds.
Everyone from work is currently off galavanting around the tongariro national park. I am not invited due to the pretense that I am a contractor, but more probably because I bit the hand that feeds me in my last post (I'm sorry NZ Web Design - you aren't that out of date).
I settle into work pretty easily I think. It's good to be around code again after 6 months on the road. After losing touch with them Intellisense and Auto Event wireup are my two best friends again. I have some other friends too. They are work colleagues, but they still count. We go to pub quizzes together, play golf and meet for brunch occasionally.
I break the routine up by going to Paihia on saturday. It's in the Bay of Islands, about four hours north of Auckland. It's a beautiful part of the world and the weather finally is kind. I'm in a rugby obsessed nation and England win, the All Blacks lose and I suddenly want to go home so I can celebrate properly.
And I persuade work to let me take a morning off on Thursday for Expression, Around the Clock; a Microsoft event showcasing their latest bit of software. It's quite a promising bit of kit, but the presentations sadly don't do it justice. For a company with a lot invested in a piece of software targeted primarily at designers (there's even a Mac version) they consider it appropriate to show how it can add rounded corners and a reflection to video. Cue the stunned silence from the audience... or is that them just waiting for something good? I won't be giving up on it though, I spent half an hour working on it and made something much more exciting than a video player.
So with no work colleagues and, thus, no friends around for the next few days I am back in solitary. I have plenty of work to keep me busy so I can keep insanity from the door.
I may buy a cat.
Everyone from work is currently off galavanting around the tongariro national park. I am not invited due to the pretense that I am a contractor, but more probably because I bit the hand that feeds me in my last post (I'm sorry NZ Web Design - you aren't that out of date).
I settle into work pretty easily I think. It's good to be around code again after 6 months on the road. After losing touch with them Intellisense and Auto Event wireup are my two best friends again. I have some other friends too. They are work colleagues, but they still count. We go to pub quizzes together, play golf and meet for brunch occasionally.
I break the routine up by going to Paihia on saturday. It's in the Bay of Islands, about four hours north of Auckland. It's a beautiful part of the world and the weather finally is kind. I'm in a rugby obsessed nation and England win, the All Blacks lose and I suddenly want to go home so I can celebrate properly.
And I persuade work to let me take a morning off on Thursday for Expression, Around the Clock; a Microsoft event showcasing their latest bit of software. It's quite a promising bit of kit, but the presentations sadly don't do it justice. For a company with a lot invested in a piece of software targeted primarily at designers (there's even a Mac version) they consider it appropriate to show how it can add rounded corners and a reflection to video. Cue the stunned silence from the audience... or is that them just waiting for something good? I won't be giving up on it though, I spent half an hour working on it and made something much more exciting than a video player.
So with no work colleagues and, thus, no friends around for the next few days I am back in solitary. I have plenty of work to keep me busy so I can keep insanity from the door.
I may buy a cat.
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